Haiku #53

Discrimination!

Your vile smoking section is

separate but equal.

Haiku #52

Under my nails is
dust from ten thousand deserts,
smog of cities lost.

Haiku #51

Want to roll with me?
We could cruise around, top down,
flashing Legion signs.

Haiku #50

Swimming's not for me,
but I am the Michael Phelps
of burnination.

Haiku #49

Who can count the stars?
If I had my way, counting
them would not take long.

Haiku #48

Countless drops of red
on my quivering fingers.
Cracked ketchup bottle.

Haiku #47

I dreamed that I dreamed
that I dreamed I was awake.
It was a nightmare!

Haiku #46

My snoring's improved.
Last night it was merely a
Richter six point three.

Haiku #45

The best part about
being me? Three simple words:
Coffee's never cold.

Haiku #44

I like fire's cruel scent
and I like crushing souls and
also butterscotch.

Haiku #43

Whitman said, "I am
large, I contain multitudes."
He had no idea.

Haiku #42

Why compose haiku?
Because pages filled with poems
are more fun to burn.

Haiku #41

I create chaos
and flames. I create legions!
Who says I destroy?

Haiku #40

Let your conscience rest.
Your sin, compared to mine, is
a peccadillo.

Haiku #39

They say death leads to

rebirth, but that just implies

yet another death.

Haiku #38

Enjambment is like
a beautiful flower that
is kind of boring.

Haiku #37

Oh, roses are red,
violence is too, I make things
dead, and write haiku.

(Those who complain that "violence" actually has three syllables, can - in the words of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II - "suck it.")

Haiku #36

Do I recycle?
I'd like to. Someone show me
the bin marked "planets."

Haiku #35

Superman is the
strongest being anywhere?
Heh. Krypton was fun.

Haiku #34

Welcome, Mr. Bond!
I will kill you, but...not yet.
That shit cracks me up.